


Take a Step

by 2NEHaru (boobtude)



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, SouHaru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boobtude/pseuds/2NEHaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After graduation, Haruka was finally ready to start his path to becoming a professional swimmer. Haruka's vision for the future, however, didn't include Sousuke making it into the same university that he did. Sousuke's new importance to his life may have a bigger impact on his future than he ever imagined it would. Souharu. Takes place after the ending to Eternal Summer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forward

“Congratulations on your graduation, Nanase!”

It was too loud in here. Haruka replied with a brief ‘thanks’ to the classmate patting him on the back with a diploma. He knew his graduating class wasn’t tiny, but being packed together in the Iwatobi auditorium like this was the first time he had to be social with the entire crowd of a thousand at once. It was draining to him, especially with all the cheering after the ceremony had finished. His arms were instinctively tense at his sides as he pushed his way through the bustling groups of people. He stood in line until his feet were numb, got the fancy paper, and survived the hour-long speech about adulthood: all he wanted to do was go home now.  There was a professional swimming career waiting for him once he made it out of here. Tokyo University had offered him a scholarship to be on their swimming team, an offer that he saw no reason to decline.

“Haru-chan. Congratulations.” A soft voice called out behind him while a hand grabbed his shoulder. Haruka spun around to meet the same gentle smile he had known since he was a child. Makoto’s eyes were bright with emotion.

“Congratulations, Makoto.” He offered his long-time friend a small smile in return. He didn’t mind spending a few extra minutes talking with him before he left. “You worked hard.”

Makoto beamed, sheepishly gripping at his honor cords. He had fantastic grades all through high school and definitely had enough cords to prove it. Haruka only had one for the swimming team, one cord that he was more than content to have by itself. “Thanks! My parents have been crying the whole time about it. I can’t tell if they’re happy that I’m graduating or sad that I’m leaving…”

“Both, probably. You were crying too.”

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I guess I take after them more than I thought. Aren’t you excited too, Haru?”

His gaze fell to the diploma held tightly in his hands. He definitely didn’t feel excited about the piece of paper or the blue robes he was given. Haruka just felt eager to get out and move on, like a dog broken off a leash. “Sort of.”

“It’s been a long three years.”  Makoto seemed to expect the noncommittal answer. “We’ll be moving on to the same college now.”

“It won’t feel that way when I’m at Tokyo University weeks earlier than you.”

“Swimming team orientation, right? You’ll have fun.” He said in hopes of easing his friend’s nerves, “I’m sure the swimming team will be nice.”

Haruka threw him a disapproving glance. “I’m not going there to make friends. All I want to do is swim.”

He got an amused stare in response. “Well, you’ll definitely have to study while you’re there.”

Makoto walked out of the crowd with Haruka, leaning against the wall near the glass door to the auditorium lobby. “Do you remember our last relay as a team, Haru? We got sixth in the Nationals because we came to understand each other better, and our teamwork improved as a result.”

Haruka stood at the door, unconvinced. “That was different. I can’t worry about my teammates on the professional level. It would be a distraction.”

“I don’t know about that. I think it would be worth your time to make friends with the same goals as you. You never know who you’ll grow close to…”

Makoto’s words became less intelligible as Haruka stared outside, watching a familiar group of guys. Rei and Nagisa had started a group hug with Rin, who came only to watch his friends graduate. Their emotional outburst came like a chain reaction, starting when Rin’s teary-eyed choking made Nagisa break out in a full wail. Rei followed soon after with muffled sobs and denials of their team being broken apart. Haruka dully noted their swaying in prediction that they would probably trip and fall over each other in the next few minutes. Behind Rin, away from the cluster of hugging and crying…

“Is that Sousuke?” Makoto caught up with Haruka’s line of sight, watching Sousuke stand behind them to keep to himself. “Did he watch the graduation ceremony with Rin?”

“Why would he come here to watch us graduate? We’re not friends.”

“Don’t be like that.” Makoto encouraged, nudging Haruka, “Things might have been rough during swimming season, but Sousuke is a nice person. He cares a lot about Rin, so maybe he wanted to congratulate us with him.”

“Maybe for you.” Haruka’s lip twitched in displeasure, his eyes still on Sousuke. “But he’s not here for me. He should go home now.”

Makoto sighed, “Haru…” He looked back to the auditorium crowd, waving to his family as they approached him. “I have to go talk to my brother and sister. I’ll see you at the graduation party tonight!”

Haruka watched Makoto happily run to his family. He then opened the door to go outside. He contemplated calling out to Rin and the others, but decided against it and continued to watch them for a while longer. As he expected, their hug broke up when they all collapsed to the ground, tripping over each other’s feet.

“Ah! Rin-chan, you’re way too heavy! I’m stuck!” Nagisa protested loudly and squirmed around, making the situation worse.

“It’s not my fault! And hey, why am I the only one you call heavy?! Rei is the same size as me!” While Rin and Nagisa continued to argue and untangle themselves, Rei focused on patting the ground for his glasses that fell off during the collision.

“Rin-san, Nagisa-kun! Have either of you seen my glasses?” He asked, unaware that Nagisa had found his glasses minutes earlier and decided to wear them himself.

Watching his friends make a mess of themselves was therapeutic, Haruka thought. At least now he felt less bothered by having been stuck inside an auditorium all day. He still felt annoyed by Sousuke’s presence, though, and his attention drifted back to him standing on the sidelines of the chaos. Like Haruka, Sousuke had no intention of getting caught up in the mess. He stood and watched without a word. A small part of Haruka’s thoughts wondered if Sousuke was feeling out of place. He seemed like he would be uncomfortable here if he was separated from Rin, much like Haruka in social situations without Makoto.

Sousuke’s eyes were unreadable as usual, making it impossible to tell what he was thinking. They were a dull teal that could be easily confused for blue on days that he wasn’t wearing a green shirt. Haruka looked to Sousuke’s torso and nodded. ‘ _Today is a green shirt day_.’

 But the shirt’s color wasn’t what kept him staring. The bright, official ‘Tokyo U Swim Team’ logo caught his attention like a warning siren. He felt the alarms ring in his mind, _‘Why does Sousuke have the same shirt that I got with my acceptance letter?’_

Only members of the swim team should have that shirt. As much as he would have liked to believe that Sousuke stole the shirt off someone’s back, it just wouldn’t make sense. That would leave only one explanation left.

“Are you trying to start something with me, Haruka?” The logo was moving closer to his face and by the time he looked up, Sousuke’s head was hovering above him. His eyebrows curved down in irritation with a glance at Haruka. “You’ve been staring me down for five solid minutes.”

Haruka glared at him. “There’s no way you’re on the Tokyo University swim team. Your shoulder would never last through it.”

“Oh. So that’s what this is about.” Sousuke’s expression lightened up as if he found Haruka entertaining. A casual smirk played on his lips. “Were you worried about me?”

His response was the other’s impatient frown. “This is a waste of time. You probably did steal it.”

He began to walk past him, but was stopped abruptly by Sousuke’s hand grabbing his arm. Haruka peered back at it before his gaze fell to his shoulder instead. “You weren’t able to stretch your arm like that before.”

“Not before the surgery, I wasn’t.” Sousuke let go as he rubbed at his left shoulder. “A few days after my last relay, I went to the hospital for it and I’ve been in rehab for three months. The doctors say I should be able to swim again in August so long as its freestyle.”

“Free?” Haruka looked like a deer in headlights. “So you were accepted in Tokyo University as a freestyle swimmer…”

Sousuke shrugged with his good shoulder. “They liked my past records and wanted to give me a chance after I finished rehab.”

“So you and I….” Haruka spoke slowly. “We’re going to go to the same school? For the same team?”

“I won’t be swimming for the first two weeks, but yeah.”

“You’re not going to where Rin is?”

Haruka remembered eavesdropping on the moment that Sousuke told Rin about his injury. Whenever he thought about it, he could still hear Rin’s choked sobbing from that day. It made his chest feel tight that he remembered every word they said.  He wasn’t typically one to regret his actions, but since then, Haruka had regretted listening to that conversation. He felt awkward around Sousuke from that point on because it made it impossible to see him as a cold and distant enemy anymore. His mental image of an evil, scary Sousuke became invalid when he thought of the gentle voice he spoke with or the broken smile on his face while Rin cried for him. What should he have felt, after witnessing a private moment like that? He didn’t think it would be pain. To that end, he chalked it up to being discomforted by Rin’s breakdown and thought no longer on the heartbroken expression of Sousuke etched into his memory.

“Rin is on a different level,” Sousuke started to explain, “With my injury, I couldn’t make it to the school he chose. I don’t plan to give up on swimming with him someday though.”

“He would be happy to hear that.” Haruka nodded, looking down at the ground. He didn’t want to bring up anymore conflict between Sousuke and Rin. For them, he figured his best course of action was to give them the space they needed. It was easy for him to do, as he enjoyed being alone, but a tiny feeling of jealousy still nagged at him every now and then.

 “Haruka.” Sousuke called out as he walked away. Haruka stopped, glancing up at him as he continued talking. “I saw your graduation.”

“Rin dragged you here?”

“Kind of.” Sousuke’s fingers reached to grab the graduation cap tassel dangling near Haruka’s face.  He moved it to the left side of the hat. “You forgot to do this.”

Startled, Haruka took a step back from him, holding onto his hat protectively. “I don’t care about that.”

Sousuke crossed his arms over his chest. “You should care. Once you move the tassel, you’ve officially graduated,” He clicked his tongue as he turned his head away, “So, now that it’s done…congratulations, Haruka.”

It had a different impact this time. He’d been congratulated by people all day long, but it never really felt like he was a graduate. He’d just wanted to end the day and go home because he hated crowds and loud voices. Then, he’d found the guy who had hated him for a whole year.   _Congratulations_. Hearing Sousuke say it felt different to him, because for the first time in that day, he didn’t want this part of his life to end.

“…Thanks.”

Sousuke didn’t expect Haruka to thank him. He was at a loss. “Yeah. Don’t mention it.”

Haruka opened his mouth to reply when Rin made his entrance. “Sousuke! Haru!” He ran over, wrapping an arm around Haruka’s shoulders and grinning. “Congrats.”

At the same time Rin spoke, Haruka talked over him, “You already told me that, Rin.”

“Tch, you’re no fun. I can say it as many times as I want to,” He then turned to Sousuke for back up, “Samezuka’s graduation ceremony was last week, so Sousuke and I had a good time watching you and Makoto go through the same thing.”

Sousuke muttered jokingly. “Rin got to cry his heart out both times.”

Rin glared back at him, though it was obvious that it was all a part of their usual friendly banter. “Go ahead, keep it up. Go far enough and I won’t help you out with your English homework when you get to college.”

Haruka looked back and forth between them, then pulled away from Rin, stepping aside. “I should go now. The ceremony is over.”

“What?!” Rin gawked at him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You already want to leave? I don’t get you, Haru…why don’t we all leave together?”

“No, I agree with him,” Sousuke spoke up, walking past the two of them. “Leaving together would be a pain.”

Rin growled in frustration before marching after Sousuke. “What’s wrong with you two? It’s not like either of you have girls to confess to before you leave…”

“You make it sound like you do.”

“Of course I don’t! Shut it, Sousuke!”

Haruka watched them continue to bicker with each other as they walked away. The selfish part of his mind told him to run after them, but his sensibility forbade him from doing something so reckless. Rin wasn’t crying and Sousuke wasn’t broken. That was good enough for Haruka. For the past year, he felt like he was the cause of a lot of needless stress on his friends. He didn’t want to depend on them anymore. If he did that, he was sure he would never have to face Makoto’s anger, Rin’s panic, the worry of his underclassmen, or Sousuke’s hatred ever again.

 “My brother didn’t drag him along, you know.”

Haruka didn’t think anyone was watching him until he heard Gou behind him. She waved to him and continued, “Sousuke came to our house this morning and said ‘Take me to the graduation’. We were pretty shocked!”

“I went to the Samezuka graduation. He just wanted to go and return the favor with Rin.”

She frowned and shook her head. “That’s probably not it. My brother told him that you’d be going to the same college he was. I think he wanted the chance to talk to you so that you two could start fresh before college.”

Haruka’s expression appeared less cold. He blinked owlishly. “I’m not his friend.”

“But you could be.” Gou grinned encouragingly, going behind him to nudge him forward. “It wouldn’t hurt to try, Haruka-senpai.”

Haruka set his foot down, watching Rin and Sousuke get further away from him. Gou walked back around, disappointed when she realized that he wasn’t moving.

“To be honest…my brother is worried about Sousuke,” She said in hopes of convincing him. “When he left for Australia, Sousuke tore up his shoulder, so he’s worried that something bad will happen again if someone isn’t there to look after him. He was relieved when he found out you’d be there to keep an eye on him.”

“Sousuke can take care of himself,” Haruka replied. “He doesn’t need me to do anything.”

“He’s going to need you on that team more than you think.” Gou argued, getting annoyed with Haruka’s attitude. “And I have a feeling that you’re going to need him too.”

Haruka visibly tensed up. He let Rin and Sousuke get far enough away to the point that he could no longer see them.

He then stepped forward.


	2. Lonely

A piece of fish went flying past his face to land on Sousuke’s plate. Haruka sighed, calmly munching on his own grilled mackerel. The group originally wanted to go to a restaurant together for their graduation dinner, but the lack of a consensus about where to eat led them to buying takeout sushi. Haruka’s house was empty and had enough room for everyone, so it was agreed that they would eat there. Haruka had sat down at his usual spot while the others had filled in wherever there was room. By some odd luck, he ended up squished to the end of the table with Sousuke, who was equally uninterested in anything aside from eating. It never particularly bothered him when his friends got loud, but he preferred not to add to the noise. Sousuke seemed to have a similar approach to the situation. He picked up the fish piece with his chopsticks and set it down on Haruka’s plate.

“Here,” He told him. “You like salmon, don’t you?”

Haruka picked at the piece of salmon with his own chopsticks. “Mackerel is better.”

“Hey, Sousuke! Don’t pass it over to Haru!” Rin protested, grabbing a few more pieces of sushi for himself. “That salmon was revenge for telling everybody that I cried!”

“Ehhh!” Nagisa exclaimed, in the process of filling his plate with enough food to feed two people. “But Rin-chan, everybody already knew that before he said anything! When you were little, whenever you lost a match, you would cry until someone came over-“

“Can we stop telling a bunch of stories about me crying?!” Rin cut him off, clearly embarrassed. “We’re supposed to be talking about the two who actually graduated today!”

Makoto laughed quietly, smiling at them. “I don’t think there’s anything particularly interesting I can think of that you wouldn’t already know.”

“Makoto-senpai,” Rei spoke up, “If not past stories, then how about telling us about the present or the future? We won’t get to talk like this very often once you and Haruka-senpai are in Tokyo.”

Nagisa nodded while he munched on a piece of fish. “Rei-chan is right! It’ll be boring in Iwatobi without you two…but at least Rin-chan and Sou-chan will be in town for a while longer.”

Sousuke unhappily grumbled under his breath at being called ‘Sou-chan’. Haruka made a mental note to use the nickname in the future to annoy him.

“Actually…” Rin cleared his throat, “I’ll only be here until December. Sousuke is leaving with Haru.”

Rin barely got the words out before Nagisa choked on the soda he was drinking and Rei dropped his sushi. Makoto only stared in shock at Haruka, who was oblivious to the atmosphere. Sousuke kept his eyes on his food to remain otherwise unaffected.

Haruka was the first to break the silence.

“Can someone pass me the mackerel?”

Sousuke reached over the table to grab the plate, setting it down by him. He became the second to talk by remarking, “Easy. You could have gotten it yourself.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Rei exclaimed, “Why didn’t you say anything before?! We all thought Yamazaki-san was-“

“Going with Rin-chan!” Nagisa completed Rei’s sentence with equal gusto.

“This was the only way for me to keep swimming.” Sousuke stole a tuna roll from Haruka’s plate while he spoke, “If it’s for that, then I don’t mind leaving Rin alone. Why are you so surprised?”

Haruka steadily glared at Sousuke from the minute his tuna roll left the plate. “That’s mine.”

“Not anymore,” Sousuke commented before eating the stolen sushi.

Makoto watched the two of them with a concerned gaze. “The more surprising news is that you two will be alone together...will you really be alright?”

Rei pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. “It never seemed like you got along. Even now, I can’t imagine the two of you on the same team.”

The reasoning of the others caught up to Rin as well. He adjusted his position on the floor to get a better look at the aforementioned pair. “I didn’t think it’d be a problem. Sousuke told me he was ok with it. Right?”

Haruka could tell that Sousuke really hated being put under pressure. His fingers clenched together and his jaw looked tight when he had every set of eyes in the room watching him. He had only recently grown close to Rin’s Iwatobi friends, so it was obvious that the last thing he wanted to do was ruin it. That, and a potentially bad answer given here could make Rin pissed off at him for weeks. To spare him the trouble, Haruka decided to answer in his place.

“We aren’t-“

Sousuke took action the second Haruka opened his mouth by grabbing a piece of sushi and stuffing it in his mouth to make him stop talking. Violated by the invasion of his personal space, Haruka moved to shove him further away. His attempt at revenge flopped when Sousuke grabbed one of his arms to pull him in. What he was aiming for with this action, it seemed to the rest of the group, was an awkward display of a friendly hug.

“Stop worrying about us.” Sousuke held onto Haruka in a desperate plea to make him play along with his little act. The latter of the two was too startled by the close contact to react. “Haruka and I are friends now.”

Makoto had a statue-like expression where he was torn between being relieved or even more disconcerted than he was before. Rei looked to Nagisa for a hint on how to react to the scene, but found that he was of little help because of his overbearing positivity.

“Whoa! You two made up already?” Nagisa grinned at them in approval. “I knew you couldn’t keep being enemies for much longer! They’re pretty similar when it comes down to it, don't you think, Mako-chan?”

Makoto couldn’t think quickly enough to come up with a supportive answer and settled with, “I guess they are.”

As the only one who’d known Sousuke for most of his life, Rin wasn’t buying any of this. He did, however, find it highly amusing. “Wow, Sousuke. You and Haru are so close already? What changed your mind about him?”

The corner of Sousuke’s eye twitched in irritation. Haruka was no help at all while draped over him like a ragdoll. “What do I like about him? His….freestyle.”

“That’s it? I thought you hated him for his swimming talent.” Rin smirked. He knew all the right buttons to press to make his friend give up.

“Do I need a reason to change my mind? I just realized he’s not a bad guy.” Sousuke released Haruka, eager to stop the conversation.

Haruka sat back up in his spot, rubbing at the arm that Sousuke grabbed. _Had he always been so strong?_ After being close to his chest, he realized how warm he actually felt. For some reason, he always imagined Sousuke would be cold to the touch.

“You and Sousuke are friends, Haru?” Makoto scooted closer to him once he sat up. He wanted to hear the words straight from Haruka’s mouth. Without that confirmation, it was likely he would continue to feel uneasy about it. This left Haruka with no choice but to join Sousuke’s act.

“Yeah. We’ll help each other out at Tokyo University.” He disliked lying to Makoto, but it was for his own good. “You don’t have to worry.”

His words weren’t as comforting to Makoto as he had hoped, but in the least, he was able to smile. “Ok, Haru. I won’t.”

* * *

 

By the time they finished having their graduation party, it was late at night. Rin left early to get sleep for an intense workout he had planned the next morning. He jokingly wished Sousuke luck with Haruka as he left. Makoto left soon after getting a call from his family, telling Haruka he’d return to see him tomorrow. Rei and Nagisa left together, already making plans to snag new first years for the swim team. The only guest left in the house was Sousuke.

He sat at the same place as when he arrived, picking at a lonely piece of sushi on his plate. Haruka stayed next to him but he no longer had an appetite. His thoughts were preoccupied, wondering why Sousuke had decided not to leave with the others. If this had been a few months earlier, he would have been the first to leave if he even showed up at all. Sousuke’s willingness to stay with him equated to either him losing his mind or having something important to say. Haruka assumed both to be safe.

“Do you live here alone?” Sousuke turned to Haruka, appearing more relaxed than he did when the whole group was there.

“Sometimes my parents show up when they’re not traveling.”

“Sometimes? Then most of the time, there’s no one here?”

Haruka glared at him, suspicious. “Only me. Why do you want to know?”

“I was just curious.” Sousuke rolled his eyes, not entirely annoyed by him yet. “I would have thought your mom and dad would be home.”

“They drove off after the ceremony.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

“Why do you care?” Haruka countered. He felt suffocated whenever people asked him personal questions.

“I’m pretending to be your friend,” Sousuke held his hands up in defense, “We could stand to get to know each other.”

“Then you should know that I hate being grabbed and having food shoved in my mouth.”

In response, Sousuke looked proud. He finished his last piece of sushi before replying. “Fine, sorry. You weren’t a bad actor though.”

“It’s not like I had a choice,” Haruka said as he stood up to gather the empty plates. “Makoto and Rin were worried. I had to say something to make you sound believable.”

“Fair enough.”

Two hands reached over, taking the plates away. Sousuke finished collecting the dishes before heading to the kitchen. Haruka watched him quietly from the doorway. With Sousuke acting like this, it somehow felt like he lived here.

“You don’t have to wash the dishes.”

“I wasn’t planning on doing all of these by myself.” Sousuke grabbed Haruka’s apron from the rack, tossing it to him. “You wash. I dry.”

Haruka caught it and pursed his lips as he stared at Sousuke. Until today, he would have bet money that he’d never see Sousuke Yamazaki in his kitchen. Something about the sight was oddly pleasant, but even stranger was that it didn’t annoy him. While he was pulling the apron over his neck, Haruka walked over to turn the sink on. He motioned for Sousuke to grab the soap before starting to clean.

“Is Makoto always taking care of you?” Sousuke held up one of the dishes, making sure it was dried properly.

“That’s just how he is. I could ask you the same thing about Rin.” The bitterness in Haruka’s words was apparent despite his lack of emotion. “All you ever talked about before Nationals was how I was ruining Rin’s future.”

Sousuke set the plate down, frowning. “I know. I was wrong. I misunderstood your relationship with Rin to think that keeping you away from him would help.”

“It never would have worked,” Haruka said, “Rin is the one who’s always coming up to me anyway.”

“You should take more responsibility. You’re a popular guy among swimmers. Rin, Makoto, Nagisa, Rei…you’re important to all of them. Without you, I don’t know if they’d be as happy as they are now.”

“I’m not making anyone happy.” He replied.

Sousuke gave him an incredulous look. He set the towel he was holding back onto the counter. “You’re an idiot.”

Offended, Haruka spun around to defend himself. “Hey-“

He was abruptly cut off when Sousuke reached down with a hand covered in soap bubbles. He tapped at Haruka’s nose, putting soap bubbles on it.

Sousuke was pleased.  “That’s a good look for you.”

Now Haruka wanted revenge. He reached down into the sink for more bubbles, then swung his hand up to get him. He had a disadvantage though, thanks to Sousuke’s height, and couldn’t bring it up in time. Sousuke caught him by the wrist with a smirk across his face.

“You’ll have to try harder than that to get me back.”

Haruka’s backup plan was to use his free hand this time. As soon as he felt the soap on his fingers, he brought it up, believing that Sousuke wasn’t watching. It turns out that he was, and now both of Haruka’s wrists were captive.

“You’re annoyingly tall”. Haruka remarked when he realized he wasn’t going to get his way.

“Maybe you’re just annoyingly short.” Sousuke mocked.

Haruka didn’t waste time arguing back to focus on coming up with an escape plan. He didn’t like leaving scores unsettled but the bubbles kept itching his nose when he couldn’t scratch it. Lost in thought, he stared into the other’s eyes. He figured that if he entered a staring contest with him, Sousuke would eventually give up. Haruka was a master of this game. They stayed like that for a minute or two, during which he found out that Sousuke’s eyes had a gentler look than he originally thought. He had trouble remembering back to when this position with Sousuke had made him tense in fear. A flicker of hesitation lit Sousuke’s eyes, to which his grip loosened. ‘ _A chance_ ’, he thought.

“Sou-chan.”

Sousuke’s attitude changed entirely: he immediately pulled back and let go of Haruka. “What?! Don’t call me that!”

It was enjoyable to see Sousuke so worked up; he should try it again later. This plan worked perfectly for him.

“Now we’re even.” Haruka declared.

He then shook the soap off his hands, setting his last dish down. He was as composed as ever in contrast to Sousuke, who gave up working on the dishes to go back to the living room. He muttered to himself angrily, then sat down and crossed his arms, trying to regain his cool. It was more childish an action than Haruka had expected from him. It was almost endearing.

“You and Rin act the same way when you’re angry.” Haruka spoke as he re-entered the living room. Sousuke was pulling his jacket from the coat rack, preparing to leave.

“No we don’t,” He asserted. “If I was more like Rin, don’t you think you and I would be friends?”

“Well, we are, aren’t we?” Haruka walked towards him, stopping about a foot away. “You said it yourself, even if it was an act.”

Sousuke was unsettled, his hands grasping at the fabric of his jacket. He put it on slowly like he wasn’t ready to leave. “It’s past midnight. I should be going home.”

 “Right. Good night.”

“We’ll all be busy,” Sousuke managed to gather his words before Haruka walked away. “So it’ll be hard to get together again like this.”

Haruka stopped, peering back at him. “This summer, it’ll be impossible to get the whole group together. Rin’s taking a vacation in Australia, Rei has summer classes, Makoto is getting a job…”

“And let me guess,” Sousuke added, “You’ll be swimming ‘free’ all summer.”

Haruka turned around. “How did you know that?”

Sousuke’s lips curved into a slight smile. “You’re easier to figure out than you think, Haruka Nanase.”

With that, he opened the door and left. Haruka’s home had returned to its usual quiet as he walked back to where the table was.  It seemed larger to him now that no people were sitting at it, but he was used to feeling this way after his friends left the house. Not wanting to linger, he made his way into the kitchen where there were still soap bubbles on the floor and a few dishes out of place. Haruka sighed, grabbing the towel to take care of the clean-up that Sousuke abandoned. He took a plate to inspect it and was impressed with how clean it was. When it came to Sousuke, he expected him to do a half-assed job. Lately, many of the ideas he had about Sousuke were disproved in the times he spent with him. His hands were soft, instead of rough like he’d guessed. He didn’t like to be stared at. He hated salmon. He was trying his best to make friends aside from Rin. And most importantly, he’d come to terms with the fact that Sousuke didn’t hate him at all. He doesn’t think he ever hated Sousuke either.

He set the dish back down and stared at the bubbles on the floor. Looking at the empty space where Sousuke had stood made the kitchen feel emptier than the table.

Haruka felt lonely.

 


	3. A Promise

_There was water everywhere._

_It flowed peacefully, making tiny waves that tickled Haruka’s stomach.  He waded through it without going anywhere in particular. The water stretched on forever: there was no noise, no land, and no distractions. When scooped up, the water faded from his hands like dust, disappearing into the sky. He reveled in the calm sanctuary as he dived underwater to explore. Absolutely nothing. It was perfect for him. No one was stressed, no one was yelling, and no one was there to push him back into reality._

_“If no one was here, do you honestly think it would be perfect?”_

_The voice broke Haruka’s concentration, forcing him to pop his head up from the water. He hadn’t noticed it until now, but the sun was blinding. It stung his eyes upon his return to the surface._

_“Haruka.”_

_It scared him. He desperately searched, finding nothing but the nauseating feeling that his ocean world was spinning. He stumbled backwards and trails of water dissolved to dust behind him. This wasn’t what he wanted! Why couldn’t he be left alone?_

_“Stop fighting it.”_

_Haruka turned to the voice behind him, only to bump into someone’s abdomen. He steadied his shaky hands on the person’s chest to regain his balance. The contact settled his mind to the point that he felt safe enough to look up._

_“It’s going to be ok.”_

_He locked gazes with Sousuke._

Haruka was buried in his bedsheets once he woke up from his dream. He had a cold sweat and his curled up position made him feel too stiff to get up.  His hand patted the sheets nearby to find his phone. Its time flashed as 9:23 am. It was a relief to know that he could relax before he had to be at the train station. Besides, it would take him a short time to recover from whatever it was his mind dreamt up last night. It wasn’t every day that he woke up imagining someone’s face, especially not Sousuke’s.

Dreams didn’t come to him often, and when they did, they were nightmares. He knew he was more likely to have them when he was stressed out, but those usually just consisted of random, nonsensical events. This one felt too real and was too focused on Sousuke for his comfort. He also really didn’t want to reflect on how many problems could be brought up by him popping up half-naked in it. Haruka closed his eyes, willing himself to block the vision from his memory.

Today was the first day of orientation for new swim team members at Tokyo University, and he was more than ready for it. Summer dragged by for an eternity of solo trips to the beach and days spent alone at home. His friends rarely took breaks from their busy schedules, with the exception of Makoto who tried to stop by at least once a week. Rin came over to say goodbye because of his Australia trip, leaving Haruka to the task of taking care of Sousuke. Though it wasn’t like he’d needed to do anything yet, since he hadn’t seen Sousuke all summer.

Haruka sat up with the blanket hanging off his head like a cloak. His hair stuck up in some places once he got up and set his feet down on the hard floor of his bedroom. The bag he prepared for his trip was relatively small for someone moving into a college dorm; he never brought much along for traveling. His logic was that he didn’t need much of anything aside from his swim jammers. Swimming equipment, clothing, and a few necessities: the permanent Haruka Nanase packing list.

On this morning, like any other, his most important order of business was to get into the bathtub. Once he finished all of his typical chores, he headed straight for it, contently soaking in the warm water. In a perfect world, he could bathe all day long, but the reality was that Makoto usually stopped by on school days to pull him out of the bathtub. That or he’d stay there until he got too wrinkly. Haruka sunk deeper in the water to the point where only his head floated at the top. For a minute, he thought he’d heard the doorbell, but he paid it no mind. If Makoto wanted to get inside, he’d just use the key under the mat.

The sound of footsteps traveled closer to the bathroom once they entered the house. Haruka wouldn’t be pleased that Makoto interrupted his bath, but the company he brought was unconditionally welcome. More so now because of how isolated he’d felt on the days counting down to his university move.

“I’m not getting out yet,” He said, assuming he’d be heard.

Haruka adjusted his position in the water so that one of his arms hung off the side. Makoto would scold him if his hands were already pruney.

“Is this what you did all summer, Haruka?”

That wasn’t Makoto.

His eyes went wide as he clung to the edges of the tub, whipping his head around. Sousuke stood at the bathroom doorway with a suitcase slung over his shoulder. His skin had gotten tanner since the graduation party a few months ago, and his arms were more toned than Haruka had ever seen them. Either the weight of the suitcase wasn’t bothering him, or he didn’t want to move and make the situation more awkward than it already was. It appeared that he didn’t expect Haruka to be bathing when he walked in.

“Sousuke?!” Haruka sunk back into the water, taking a defensive position. “Why are you here?”

“It’s orientation day.” Sousuke was having trouble finding something to look at aside from the tub. “Are you naked?”

Haruka’s mouth curved downwards into a slight pout. “I’m always wearing a swimsuit.”

At this moment, however, the swimsuit brought little protection. Whenever Makoto walked in on him bathing, it wasn’t a big deal. They were both used to it and never had any problems since they were kids. Sousuke was a different story. His soon-to-be teammate had disappeared from his life for months, only to reappear by complete surprise in front of his bathtub. For a person who had a certain immunity to self-consciousness, Haruka was embarrassed.

“Why do you wear your jammers in the tub?” Sousuke was unafraid to look at him now. “You won’t get clean like that.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Haruka replied with childish dignity.

As it turns out, the situation could get worse. Haruka’s entire body went tense as Sousuke walked to the tub, taking a seat on its edge. He was close enough now that Haruka could see the faded, goggle-shaped tanlines on his face.

Sousuke sighed. “We’re going to be late if you keep sitting there.”

 “I don’t need you to walk me to the train station.”

“I don’t care about that.” Sousuke’s lips twitched in hesitation before he spoke again. “There’s a different problem.”

Haruka’s expression fell to skeptic confusion. “A problem?”

“I was walking to the train station,” He started, faltering on his words. “I thought I was going the right way, but I ended up here. Something must have gone wrong.”

Haruka deadpanned. He had heard Rin complain multiple times about Sousuke’s sense of direction, but he didn’t imagine it’d be this bad. His house and the train station weren’t that far apart, so if Sousuke had been walking there correctly, it only should have taken him fifteen minutes to get there. It was beyond comprehension how he managed to miss a location that was only a few blocks away. If there ever were a fitting time to start taking Rin’s worries seriously, now would be it.

“I’ll lead you there,” Haruka assured him as he stood up.

He could tell that it killed Sousuke’s pride to have to ask for help. His fingers were the dead give-away that gripped at the flap of his baseball cap, pulling it down so that it cast a shadow over his eyes. The sight of a humbled Sousuke was one of Haruka’s favorite things to cause.

He stepped out of the tub and shook the water out of his hair. Sousuke scrunched up his nose, then stood up and snatched a towel from the rack. He threw it over Haruka’s head, where it draped over him like a lampshade. He felt Sousuke’s hand resting at top of his head, tousling the hair underneath that part of the fabric.

“Use a towel, idiot.” He remarked as he left the bathroom.

Haruka pulled the cloth back so that his face was visible again. He had a quizzical look on his face while he watched Sousuke walk away.

He wasn’t sure why it didn’t annoy him this time when Sousuke called him an idiot.

* * *

 

“I could have made it here the first time if I had a map,” Sousuke stated upon entering the train station.

Haruka seriously doubted that a map would have done him any good. Their trip to the station went without a hitch thanks to Haruka’s lead and Sousuke’s compliance to take someone else’s directions for a change. Sousuke insisted that he wanted to carry both of their suitcases the entire time, probably as some means of compensation to his pride. Although neither suitcase was heavy enough to break him, Haruka marveled at the ease with which he managed to hold them. Sousuke could barely move his shoulder in the spring, but now he seemed to have regained full use of it and more.

“Sousukeeeeee! Harukaaaaa!”

The loud, cheerful call turned more heads than just theirs. Haruka decided that it was a mistake once he saw the bouncy head of pink hair coming at them. He did what he could to pretend that Kisumi wasn’t there, though it came as a surprise that he and Sousuke already knew each other.

“Are you guys here for orientation?” Kisumi asked with an attempted hug at Haruka, who easily dodged.

“We’re on the swimming team,” Sousuke replied. He grabbed Kisumi by the back of his shirt collar to get him to leave Haruka alone. “You’re going to Tokyo University?”

“I’m on the basketball team!” Kisumi grinned. “It’s great that we’ll all be going to the same place. Makoto told me that he’d be going to this university too!”

“It’s a big school.” Sousuke released him and set the suitcases down on the ground. “We probably won’t see each other around much.”

“No worries,” Kisumi dismissed him with the flick of a wrist. “I’ll meet up with you guys every day.”

“Don’t do it,” Haruka ordered.

“You don’t have to act tough, Haruka!” Kisumi laughed it off. “When we were friends in middle school, you used to get lonely really quickly.”

“That was your fault.” Haruka already looked annoyed.

“Oh, I understand,” Kisumi said, oblivious to the other’s hostility. “We used to be really close, didn’t we?”

Haruka lifted his brows in disdain. “Never.”

“You’re as funny as you used to be!” Kisumi smiled in response. “It’s no wonder Sousuke is enjoying hanging out with you!”

Sousuke made a half-hearted objection. “Don’t assume things like that, Kisumi.”

“You still get embarrassed in the same way, Sousuke,” Kisumi commented with glee and patted his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m not embarrassed.” Sousuke grumbled and shrugged him off. “Anyway, we should be leaving. Our train’s open now.”

Kisumi started back towards the train, winking at him. “I guess you’re going to have private swim team conversations. I’ll see you later!”

He waved to them, then regrouped with a few other basketball team members. Both Haruka and Sousuke exhaled in relief.

“You’re friends with Kisumi?” Haruka questioned him with a suspicious glance.

“We went to the same elementary school.” Sousuke scratched the back of his head. “He’s friends with you too?”

“I don’t like him,” Haruka answered bluntly.

Sousuke chose to let the issue go instead of pry further about it. He scooped the bags up again and headed for the train. Haruka took a step forward, but stopped after that to examine the crowd behind him. Makoto had texted earlier to let him know that he would find him to say goodbye. Never one to break a promise to a friend, he would definitely be here, and Haruka would definitely wait. Sousuke paused by the door to the train once he realized Haruka wasn’t following him. If he stood in the middle of the crowd for much longer, Sousuke would lose him in the chaos. He threw their luggage by an empty seat, then ran off the train to go back for Haruka. He bumped into someone else on the way out.

“Sorry.” Makoto took a step back to bow his head. Sousuke jerked his head back to stare at him.

“Makoto,” He said. “You came to see Haruka?”

“I wanted to see him before he left,” Makoto explained. “But I’m lucky I ran into you. I need to talk to you about him.”

“Ok,” Sousuke agreed hesitantly. “But it has to be quick.”

Makoto nodded, looking down at the ground with a melancholic glint to his eyes. Sousuke had never seen him express anything but a smile until this day. Matters were serious when it came to Haruka Nanase, he bargained.

“Please take care of Haru in my place.”

Makoto’s words brought with them genuine shock. The way he said them made it sound like a farewell, as opposed to a short departure. Sousuke settled into a dumbfounded gaze.

“It’ll only be a few weeks,” He said. “You’ll come back to see him.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Makoto was anxious. He glanced around to be certain that Haruka wasn’t within earshot. “College is a busy time. Haru and I have two completely different majors, and will probably take classes at different times. I’m not on the swim team, so I can’t share a room with him either. This will be the first time that Haru is going to deal with a lot of things by himself.”

There was nothing more evident to Sousuke than Makoto’s concern for Haruka. It made him feel bitter that he understood it so well. Makoto’s eyes glowed with the same overwhelming desire to protect Haruka as Sousuke’s did about Rin. It gave him the uncomfortable impression that he was looking into a mirror.

“You worry too much,” He tried to offer Makoto some comfort. “Haruka can handle himself.”

“Do you remember what he did at regionals?” Makoto frowned. “It didn’t seem like anything was wrong with him until the freestyle race. Haru got halfway through the pool, and then he just shut down. He gave up on the race…then his emotions exploded after Rin confronted him about it. He looked so lost after that day. I’d never felt so terrified that the Haru we knew would be gone forever.”

Sousuke didn’t like remembering it. It was a rough time for all of them. Back then, he’d only seen Haruka as an aggravating roadblock to his dream with Rin. Had he continued to hate him, he never would have come to the Iwatobi graduation. Becoming close to Rin’s friends would have been out of the question. If he still hated Haruka, then he wouldn’t have cared to notice how blue his eyes were or how funny he looked with soap bubbles on his nose. Sousuke’s heart felt heavy.

“Sousuke,” Makoto continued firmly. “I don’t want that to happen to Haru again. Don’t let him fall back into a despair where he’d give up his passion for swimming.”

An announcement played over the speaker to warn passengers that the train would be departing soon. Sousuke nodded to Makoto, his eyes resolute with promise.

“Leave Haruka to me.”

 “Sousuke?” Haruka called out, walking up to them as the announcement repeated itself. He relaxed once his eyes fell on Makoto. “Makoto. I was waiting over there.”

On Haruka’s entrance, Makoto’s face shifted back to its usual smile. “Sorry. I got here later than I planned.”

Haruka looked back and forth between Makoto and Sousuke, understanding that something had happened during his absence. “It’s ok.”

Makoto tilted his head to the side, his expression gentle. “Have a safe trip, Haru. I’ll see you soon.”

Haruka still seemed bothered by the conversation that he missed. “Yeah…see you soon.”

Sousuke determined that taking Haruka away as soon as possible would avoid giving him any time to ask questions on it. He grabbed his wrist and walked with him to the train, waving a curt goodbye to Makoto, who finally seemed to relax. They lost sight of him during the move onto the train.

“Let go. I told you I hated being grabbed.”  Haruka protested, trying to pull his wrist away.

Sousuke didn’t comply until the doors of the train closed. He took a seat by the window in the same place that he left the bags. Reluctantly, Haruka slid into the other seat beside him.

“What were you and Makoto talking about?” He asked, dissatisfied.

“A girl,” Sousuke responded.

Haruka shot him an unamused glare. “That’s a lie.”

“She’s cute.”

“You just don’t want to answer the question.”

Sousuke set his elbow by the edge of the window, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. He gazed out the window as the train began to move.

“She’s stubborn, annoying, and doesn’t have any common sense,” He told him. “She’s got a one track mind. She doesn’t have a clue about how the people around her are feeling. She hates being lonely more than she lets off, and bottles up her emotions until she breaks. I don’t know what kind of crazy fate I have to keep getting stuck with her.”

Haruka rolled his eyes, knowing he’d never get a straight answer from Sousuke. “It sounds like you hate her.”

“Not anymore,” Sousuke replied. He looked at Haruka while he spoke. “Besides, she’s my responsibility now.”


	4. A Wish

By the time they arrived at the university, Sousuke was asleep. He had been out for an hour, during which his head rolled on top of Haruka’s. It was a situation to which he hadn’t the slightest idea of how to handle. Sousuke was heavier than him, so having the extra weight resting on his head wasn’t the most comfortable feeling. Shaking him didn’t bother him like Haruka hoped, and it seemed too cruel to shove him off, though the temptation was great. The final course of action was to wait. Haruka kept still while he listened to the soft sounds of Sousuke’s breathing. Towards the end of the ride, their position started to feel natural.

Sousuke groggily opened his eyes when he heard the train come to a stop.

“We’re here?” He muttered.

Haruka peered up at him. “I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn’t move.”

He pulled away to yawn in response. The way he stretched his arms reminded Haruka of a sleepy cat, one that could go back to napping on command. From what he’d witnessed, Sousuke was a deep sleeper who wouldn’t wake up if the world was ending around him. He never tousled during his sleep despite the chattering of other orientation goers. It was a miracle that he opened his eyes once they reached their destination.

“I slept well,” He commented as he rolled his left shoulder. “Your head made a good pillow.”

“Don’t sleep on me again.” Haruka stood up and grabbed his bag.

“I don’t make promises that I don’t want to keep,” Sousuke replied.

Haruka elbowed him in the arm, annoyed. “Let’s go.”

Groups of students ran past them in excitement for the festivities. Most sports team members for the university were required to arrive on this day, creating an odd mix of basketballs, tennis rackets, footballs, and other equipment from the players on the train. Sousuke and Haruka were nearly unrecognizable as athletes due their lack of sporting gear. A couple of swimmers wearing goggles walked past while Haruka watched on wistfully.

“Show-offs.” Sousuke remarked.

“You must be prepared for the water at all times,” Haruka argued, a serious look on his face.

Sousuke did not find the matter as riveting. “Uh huh.”

He gave Haruka a once over with his eyes before speaking again. “Don’t tell me you’re still wearing your jammers from this morning…”

“I’m always wearing a bathing suit,” Haruka stated as if it were obvious.

Sousuke was bewildered. He rubbed the remains of his nap out of eyes, realizing that he had to be fully awake to deal with Haruka’s logic.

“Is there ever a time when you’re not wearing a bathing suit?”

Haruka’s lips pursed in thought. “I don’t wear them when I sleep.”

 _At least there was that_ , he thought. The train was almost empty now, with the exception of them and the football team. Sousuke put a hand on Haruka’s shoulder to stop him from walking into a taller student.

“Wait for the football players to get off,” He said. “You’ll get run over by them.”

Of all the people to reprimand him, Haruka disliked it the most coming from Sousuke. He grabbed his hand to pull it off. “I’m not that small.”

Taking advantage of Haruka’s contact, Sousuke held onto his hand and raised it over his head with ease. The action was relaxed, but contained enough force to prove his point. Haruka stared up at his hand dangling near Sousuke’s face.

“Compared to most of these guys, you are.” Sousuke frowned. “This isn’t high school anymore. You have to watch your back here.”

He let go of Haruka’s hand, then walked ahead with his suitcase. Once he reached the door, he beckoned his head for him to follow. Haruka bitterly watched Sousuke step off the train. He didn’t like it, but any option other than sticking together was risky. His hand felt littler than usual after being held in Sousuke’s, and it made him feel even smaller when he looked out the window of the train. The crowd was massive, with each sport team separated into groups. Tokyo University’s swim team was a huge wave of unfamiliar faces, many of which he assumed were scouted from schools all over the world. Makoto’s kind leadership wouldn’t guide this team. Nagisa’s infectious energy and Rei’s strategic planning wouldn’t be present in the group either. A part of him wanted to turn back time so that he would never have to leave the Iwatobi team. The other part of him moved his feet forward when his eyes found a familiar face among the crowd.

Sousuke stood behind the groups of people, keeping to himself just as he did at the graduation. He paid no mind to the conversations going on within the swim team, as he only had eyes for the train. His expression was distantly troubled as he watched the door, anticipating Haruka’s entrance.

 _What would have happened to Sousuke, had he not decided to go to this school?_ Haruka pressed his finger to the window, tracing a circle around his head from afar. Sousuke looked as alone as Haruka felt. He stepped away from the window, walking off the bus to meet him, but bumped into Sousuke’s chest on the way out.

“You took too long.” Sousuke complained.

Haruka observed him, noticing the lines on Sousuke’s face soften at his arrival. He really was worried about him. Rin’s words about him being good-hearted were true after all. Sousuke turned his head, uncomfortable with being stared at.

“Is there something on my face?” He grumbled.

“No,” Haruka shook his head. “You’re interesting to look at.”

He walked ahead to the swim team while Sousuke stood there in blind confusion, unsure if he was complimented or insulted.

“Is that Yamazaki? Oh, Nanase, you’re with him too!”

Haruka raised an eyebrow back at the voice that called his name. Mikoshiba stood in front of them, grinning proudly with both hands at his hips. Sousuke moved forward to be next to Haruka, tilting his head in uncertainty at the former Samezuka captain.

“Seijuro Mikoshiba? You go here?” He asked.

“Of course!” Mikoshiba confirmed. “I’ll be the orientation leader for your group. You two got lucky, ha ha!”

“So what do we do first?” Haruka spoke up.

Mikoshiba held up a clipboard with dozens of names on it. “You can’t do anything before you get your room assignment. You wouldn’t want to carry a suitcase around all day.”

“A roommate from the swim team…” Haruka was apprehensive. He enjoyed living alone and wasn’t looking forward to being stuck in one room with the same person for a year.

“How does the selection process work?” Sousuke crossed his arms.

“It’s two per room,” Mikoshiba explained. “If you don’t have a roommate picked out now, then we choose someone at random. Got anyone in mind, Yamazaki?”

Haruka figured that this was where he and Sousuke would part ways. Mikoshiba would pick out a roommate for him, and then he’d leave to finish the rest of the orientation alone. A feeling of dread sparked inside him like fire at the prospect of being abandoned, but he suppressed it with a hard swallow. He could take care of himself and had no reason to rely on Sousuke like this. In the end, this was a part of the college experience he had to go through to become a professional swimmer.

“Haruka Nanase,” Sousuke stared at Haruka as he replied to Mikoshiba. “I want to be with him.”

Startled, Haruka moved around to meet Sousuke’s eyes.

Mikoshiba smiled and scribbled their names down. “I should’ve guessed that, seeing as you both came here together! It’s great to see my teammates getting along so fast!”

With a strong thump on the back to Sousuke, Mikoshiba handed him the room keys and left. Sousuke held a key up in the air to see the engraving.

“Room 50ES,” He read, then tossed Haruka the second key. “Here’s yours. Let’s find it.”

Haruka caught the key, clutching it tightly. “Sousuke, wait.”

“What?” Sousuke stopped before entering the dorm building. “You had plans for a different roommate?”

“No.” Haruka took a step after him but stayed in his shadow. “Tell me why you did that.”

With a click of his tongue, Sousuke scratched the back of his neck. “Not many people would take kindly to a guy who sits in the bath all day wearing his jammers.”

“Is that it?”

“We’re friends, Haruka. I don’t need a reason to pick you.”

He walked inside, checking out a map posted on a bulletin board. Haruka stood in the sunlight, watching the outline of Sousuke’s back from the open door. His friend, now roommate, turned around to call out to him. His words were drowned out by the crowd, but Haruka knew what he said. _Come with me_.

Nothing brought him more relief than that.

* * *

 

Their room was larger than they expected. Tokyo University treasured its swimming team’s prestige, so they supplied their swimmers’ dorms accordingly. The room included two separate beds and a private bathroom attached to the side. There was a window behind each bed, and since they were on the fifth floor, they had a great view of the university garden. Everything appeared clean enough to be brand new.

Sousuke lifted his suitcase onto one of the beds. “I’ll take this one.”

Haruka could care less about their sleeping arrangements. He dropped his suitcase, hurrying to inspect the bathroom. There was a bathtub like he’d hoped.

“Don’t even think about getting in there now.” Sousuke pulled him away before he started stripping. “You have to meet the rest of the team at the pool.”

Haruka would have protested if he wasn’t being dragged to the water anyway. “It’s a free swim, right?”

“Yeah.” Sousuke went back to unpacking his clothes. “It’s more like a party than an official event. You go in, meet the team, then swim.”

The only part that appealed to Haruka was the swimming. Parties were difficult for him because they were loud and crowded. The only parties he’d ever stayed at were those with Rin, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei. Thinking back to the graduation party, he supposed he had fun with Sousuke too.

“I’ll go to see the pool,” Haruka said.

Sousuke hopped onto his bed, laying down. “You’d do anything to get into the water. Enjoy it.”

Haruka’s curious gaze fell to Sousuke’s shoulder. “You make it sound like you’re not going.”

“Because I’m not,” He said. “It’s pointless if I can’t swim yet.”

This was good news to Haruka. He ran back to the bathroom once Sousuke finished speaking. Sousuke didn’t react until he heard the sound of bathwater running.

“Hey!” He chased after him, standing in the doorway. “What are you doing?”

Haruka was slipping out of his t-shirt. “Trying out the tub.”

Sousuke reached over to clothe him before his pants disappeared. “I get the feeling you wouldn’t go to this party unless I forced you. You don’t want to see the pool anymore?”

“I’ll go when it’s less crowded.”

Sousuke patted the area around Haruka’s waist to smooth down his t-shirt. He was close enough now that Haruka could feel the warmth of his breath. It felt a lot different up close than it did above his head on the train.

“You’re hopeless,” Sousuke said as he pulled away. “Turn off the water. We’re going to walk around campus.”

Haruka retracted back, not wanting to find out what would happen if he kept that level of intimacy with Sousuke. “You’re going to get us lost.”

“I have a map this time.”

Sousuke was already out the door. After he shut off the faucet, Haruka followed.

“Where are we going?” He asked while they made their way down the stairs.

“The garden,” Sousuke replied. “It’s close by.”

He had a feeling Sousuke had only picked it because he knew it was close enough that he couldn’t make a mistake in the directions. Peering over his shoulder at the map, Haruka noticed how big the garden was. It spanned the length of two buildings, with a path that was surrounded by plants on either side. Once they made it outside, there was a wooden gate that marked the entrance, with ivy vines clinging to its curves. Sousuke paused at the gate when he heard his phone ring. He dug it out from his pocket and tapped it on to answer while Haruka occupied himself by looking at flowers.

“Hey. Yeah, it’s taken care of. Stop worrying so much.”

Even though he vowed not to eavesdrop on Sousuke’s conversations ever again, Haruka couldn’t help but overhear this one. He knelt down by a patch of blue flowers to poke at the petals, then glanced back at Sousuke.

“Everything worked out fine. It’s my responsibility, anyway. It’s best when we’re together.”

 _Together_? Haruka was baffled. His thoughts floated back to their conversation on the train. It started to sound like the mystery girl really did exist, for as unbelievable as it sounded before. Sousuke definitely looked happy as he talked on the phone about her. He picked at the flower in front of him, ignoring anything else Sousuke was saying. It shouldn’t have felt so annoying to hear about love, especially when they were at this age. Dating was to be expected for most of them.

“You’re destroying that flower,” Sousuke commented, now kneeling down beside him.

Haruka scooted away, surprised that he had already finished his call. He shook the plucked petals off his hand before he stood back up.

“You weren’t lying about the cute girl?” He asked, remaining nonchalant.

Sousuke had an amused look on his face. “You’re still thinking about that?”

“Not really,” Haruka contended. “It just sounded like you were talking about her.”

He walked ahead on the garden path, more intrigued now that he saw a fountain at its center. It was difficult to fight the urge to swim in it, but he managed. Sousuke came along and sat at the fountain’s edge.

“You’re right, I was talking about her.” He confirmed, smiling slightly. “She’s gotten more friendly with me.”

Haruka really didn’t care for an entire conversation in which Sousuke bragged about some girl he liked. He sunk his hand into the fountain, gliding it through the clear, blue water. His fingertips touched a coin at the bottom from a previous visitor who made a wish. Tossing coins into fountains for good luck was a practice that Haruka never particularly liked. If anything, he thought it ruined the seamless flow of water.

His hand twitched when he felt a new coin plop into the water. He glared at Sousuke.

“You shouldn’t throw coins in here.”

Sousuke got up. “Most people do it. There are a lot of wishes to grant.”

Haruka pulled his hand out from the water. “It’s a superstition. Fountains aren’t lucky.”

“Isn’t it nicer to pretend that they are, though?” Sousuke headed towards a patch of lilies. “Even you must have some kind of impossible wish that you want to come true.”

He walked after Sousuke. “I wanted to turn into a merman when I was little.”

“You’re already too much like a fish.”

The grass was wet underneath their shoes as they made their way to deepest part of the garden. They were careful not to step on any flowers when they strayed away from the main path. Mostly consisting of blue hues, the garden had the appearance of an ocean made of flowers. Haruka took the opportunity to go down, laying among the flowers. A cool breeze blew by, and he closed his eyes, feeling at peace.

“You’re going to get mud on you.” Sousuke commented before sitting down on the ground with him.

“So are you.”

“Fair enough.” Sousuke looked over Haruka. “There’s a leaf on your forehead."

When Haruka opened his eyes, Sousuke’s face was only inches away. His fingers held a leaf up, but he wasn’t able to move his head once Haruka stared back at him. He looked frozen: his jaw was tense, and his lips were the slightest bit agape. Lying on the ground, Haruka couldn’t pull back. He wasn’t sure if he would’ve done so if he could anyway.

Sousuke’s attempt to speak was cut off by the sprinklers in the garden turning on.

They got drenched, and patches of their clothes were soaked in mud now. Sousuke stood up first to rub the droplets from his face. He seemed a lot smaller when wet, where his clothes stuck to his body as they dripped with water. His bangs drooped in front of his eyes, with the other parts of his hair sticking up in various places. At the moment, Haruka was sure he looked no different than him, but something was really funny about the grumpy expression on Sousuke’s face.

“I hate sprinklers.”

After he spoke, Sousuke was sure he heard a miracle occur. It was so quiet that it was almost inaudible. The sound only lasted for a few short seconds, but it was impossible to forget once you listened to it.

Haruka was laughing.

His laugh was so unexpected that Sousuke was sure that the whole world stopped to listen. He had never seen Haruka’s face look so full of life as it did when he smiled.

This moment was fleeting, and it came to a stop when Haruka stood up, his face returning to its normal complacency within a minute. The transformation went so smoothly that Sousuke began to suspect he only dreamed about it, however, he knew that wasn’t the case.

Earlier at the fountain, he’d made a wish on the coin.

He wanted to see Haruka smile.


	5. Lies

In the morning, the pool was always empty. Most swimmers practiced at night, and since it was rare for anyone to wake up at 5 AM for a swim, Sousuke was the only one in the water.

He still had a week left until he could begin swimming with his teammates. His shoulder was almost fully healed to the point that he felt restless being unable to work with it yet. Not wanting to take his chances by swimming before the time had come, he found other ways to keep up his training. Stretching his arm was doable when he stood in the shallow end. It felt easy to swing it around in the water, making little ripples of water behind him with each motion. Seeing his own shoulder move normally made it difficult to remember when rolling his shoulder back would shake his entire body with pain. He used to spend a lot of time alone in the Samezuka locker room, either taking pain medication or trying to compose himself after a race.

Keeping it a secret was no problem: Rin was never any wiser about it and his other teammates tended to avoid him. Of all the times Sousuke secluded himself into a dark corner to deal with his shoulder, only one person had ever caught him.

It was after a particularly long practice. He stayed for the full length of time, ripping up his shoulder even worse in the process. The agonizing sensation of pain pulsing through his body had almost crippled him to the ground. By sheer force, he’d made it to the locker room while his team left for a party. Sousuke had collapsed on the floor, clutching at his shoulder and trying to catch his breath. He knew he would have passed out there if someone didn’t find him.

What he didn’t know was that the Iwatobi swim team also came to join Samezuka’s celebration that day. A certain freestyle swimmer, thanks to his ever-present dislike of parties, had escaped to the pool shortly after arriving. He decided to investigate the locker room when he heard strange noises coming from it.

Back then, Haruka Nanase had become the first person learn his secret.

Sousuke could still clearly picture the subtle look of shock on Haruka’s face when he found him lying on the floor. He’d wanted to yell at him to scare him away, but he couldn’t muster the energy to do it. All he managed was a weak glare accompanied by a hiss of pain. He’d expected that to be the end. Haruka would run off, tell Rin, and that would be the end of his swimming career. He never would do that, though.

What he would learn that day is that Haruka Nanase wasn’t as terrible as he thought.

When he entered the locker room, he took a good look at Sousuke, then crouched down on the ground beside him. He’d helped pull him up so that he was sitting upright by one of the benches. Sousuke remembered trying to push him away. After that, he set his bottle of soda on the bench and left, saying he would return with a pack of ice. One of the most shocking moments of Sousuke’s life was when Haruka actually did return.

He’d probably let go of his hatred for him on that day. It was previously unthinkable to Sousuke, for him to wake up, look at Haruka on the other side of the room, and feel nothing but relief. They had been roommates for a few days now and it already seemed normal. The only strange occurrence he could complain about was finding Haruka’s bathing suits all over the place, but even that had its charm points. Last night he’d found a pair of jammers hanging off the ceiling fan. The next morning, another one appeared inside the sink. Both gave him a good laugh, yet he had to wonder where Haruka found an endless supply of nearly identical, purple-lined bathing suits to draw from.

Sousuke waded to the edge of the pool, then gave his shoulder one last stretch before he set his arms onto solid ground. He felt relaxed to be able to rest like this, enough so that he could fall back to sleep. The sound of the door clicking open broke him away from the beginning of his nap.

Haruka dragged himself into the pool area, still looking half asleep. His barely open eyes scanned the room in search of something. Sousuke sighed, watching him from inside the water.

“Haruka. Why are you up?”

He paused when he heard Sousuke’s voice and turned to face him. It was easy to tell that Haruka was no morning person. Something looked especially off about him today, though. His movements were unbalanced as he made his way to Sousuke.

“Heard you leave…saw you were gone,” He muttered. “I went to look for you.”

“I only went to exercise. You shouldn’t have done that.” Sousuke frowned. “You look awful.”

Haruka sat down on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. “You look awful too.”

Sousuke deadpanned. “That’s not what I meant. Are you sick?”

“Tired…” Haruka closed his eyes while he spoke.

He was so sluggish that Sousuke wondered how he ever managed to make it to the pool. The most obvious problem was the thick, winter coat Haruka was snuggled into. For anyone in their right mind, the temperature outside was pleasantly warm.

“Back when we got caught under the sprinklers, did you ever change out of those wet clothes?” Sousuke asked.

“Wet clothes…? You looked funny in wet clothes.”

“I’ll take that as a no. You’ve been going swimming at night too, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Sousuke tiredly rubbed his face, then lifted himself out of the pool, plopping down by Haruka.

“You can’t walk around in your bathing suit at night,” He said. “The temperature drops when it’s dark, so you’ll get sick if you’re soaking wet.”

“I don’t get sick,” Haruka replied, huddling deeper into his huge jacket.

“Then I’ve got bad news for you.” Sousuke leaned over, pressing a wet hand to his forehead. He jerked away as soon as he felt the cold palm hit his face.

“You’re burning up,” Sousuke said. “Go back to the dorm.”

“I told you…I’m not sick,” Haruka insisted.

“You’re a horrible liar. You can barely stand.”

Sousuke hooked an arm around his, supporting him while they both stood up. Haruka wanted to pull away, but was too dizzy to get any further than slumping back onto Sousuke’s shoulder. He was lucky that his feet decided to cooperate in getting him out of the natatorium.

“Want me to pick you up?” Sousuke asked, half teasing, half serious.

“I’ll never want that.” Haruka glared at him from the side.

“You’ll regret saying that one day.”

“Never…” Haruka mumbled, nuzzling further into him.

Sousuke’s chest felt warm with Haruka leaning over it. As would be expected, Sousuke’s wetness from the pool didn’t bother Haruka one bit. He’d fallen onto his bad shoulder, which for once, didn’t feel any pain from the pressure on it. It wasn’t the first time Sousuke felt thankful for his surgery, but the first time he’d thought so because of Haruka.

* * *

 

“What are you taking so much soup for, Sousuke? Feeling sick?”

Kisumi followed behind him in the dining hall, carrying his own tray with piles of food. Sousuke was filling takeout bowls with soup to bring back to the dorm.

“It’s not for me. Haruka’s sick.”

“Haruka?” Kisumi grabbed an apple, carefully placing it at the top of his food mountain. “But he never gets sick! What’s wrong with him?”

“He has a fever,” Sousuke said. “He’s been asleep since this morning.”

“Who would’ve thought…” Kisumi pursed his lips. “Though, I’m shocked that you’re getting soup for him. You never used to be this sensitive about people’s feelings.”

Sousuke sat down at a table, narrowing his eyes slightly. “There’s nothing shocking about this. My roommate is too sick to come eat, so I’m making sure he doesn’t starve.”

Kisumi scooted in beside him. “You can’t fool me. If this were the Sousuke of last year, you wouldn’t have cared if Haruka ate or not. I’m going to tell Rin how soft you are.”

“Go ahead, tell him,” Sousuke remarked. “He won’t believe you.”

Kisumi waved his fork at him. “Come on, it’s so obvious! This one time when I saw you two on campus, you gave him your water bottle. Then there was another time when he tripped on the stairs and you caught him-“

Sousuke stole his apple to shut him up. “Stop following us. It’s creepy.”

Kisumi stole his apple back. “I told you guys I’d hang out with you! I just haven’t found a good moment yet, since every time I’m not with the basketball team, you two seem to be having some kind of private moment.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know that feeling when you walk in on a dramatic situation?” Kisumi talked between bites of food. “A part of you wants to interrupt it, but the other part really wants to watch the tension play out? It’s like that.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes. “Haruka and I aren’t that dramatic.”

“Yes you are! It’s different than when he’s with Makoto. When he’s with you, the tension around you guys feels so tight that something tragic would happen if I stepped in.”

“If you keep stalking us, something tragic really will happen to you.”

“Stop teasing, Sousuke.” Kisumi frowned. “You’re only mad because I’m telling the truth. And you know, as far as Haruka is concerned, you’re kind of acting like Makoto. What’s so great about Haruka anyway?”

That comment didn’t go over well with Sousuke. He stood up, taking his soup bowls with him. “Don’t compare me to Makoto. I’m taking care of Haruka, and that’s all you need to know.”

Then he walked off, leaving a confused Kisumi at the table alone. Something about being compared to Makoto really got on his nerves. Makoto was the one who told him to watch over Haruka, so technically, Kisumi was right. Sousuke was acting in Makoto’s stead when he couldn’t be there, but it never felt like an act. He gave Haruka water because that’s what Haruka liked. He would catch Haruka when he fell because it was nerve-wrecking to imagine him getting hurt. He didn’t bring him soup because it’s what Makoto would have done, he did it because he wanted to.

Sousuke hated to think of himself as a replacement because it scared him to death that Haruka thought the same way. When Makoto returned, would he even matter anymore? When Makoto arrived in a week, he wanted to be certain that Haruka would still walk with him around campus and give him those funny looks when he teased him. In a worst case scenario, he would lose any time with Haruka that didn’t include swimming or sleeping.

It was a situation he felt was all too possible in the future.

He opened to the door to their room, exhaling in relief when Haruka was still in bed, fast asleep. Before he sat on his own bed, he set the soup bowls down on the nightstand, careful not to spill a drop. Over the course of their time together, Sousuke learned that Haruka moved around a lot in his sleep. One night, he’d even rolled off the bed. As long as Haruka wasn’t going to hurt himself, Sousuke thought it was pretty amusing to watch. On occasion, he’d even start talking.

“Giant fish…” Haruka muttered quietly, rolling over to where he barely had any blanket left on him.

Not wanting his fever to get worse, Sousuke walked over to fix it for him. He grabbed the ends of the blanket and pulled it to Haruka’s neck, smoothing the rest of it down so that it covered him snugly. The sunlight that peeked through the curtains of the window was shining on Haruka’s resting face. He still looked at peace, but not wanting to take any chances, Sousuke cautiously reached over to tilt his head in the opposite direction. Haruka’s face was soft and hot to the touch. While his mouth twitched in discomfort at the initial feel of a cold hand, his nap didn’t seem to be disturbed. With a gentle nudge, Sousuke got his head to turn away from the sun.

The tips of his fingers lingered on his face afterwards. Any contact with Haruka, regardless of how insignificant, used to be brief, only done when necessary. Now, Sousuke was able to touch him without hesitation. His thumb gently stroked along Haruka’s cheek as he pulled away. Haruka’s face seemed as fragile as a porcelain doll when he slept. He had long eyelashes and a small nose above his slightly open lips. His hair was silky even when tousled during his sleep. His body curled into a ball when he slept, making him seem tiny.

 _What’s so great about Haruka?_ Kisumi had asked him.

Truthfully, Sousuke couldn’t answer that. If someone asked him to describe Haruka, he’d probably talk about his weird water obsession or his undaunted swimming talent. Maybe he’d only say that because it’d be embarrassing to tell them anything about the way he felt when Haruka smiled.

He’d gotten way closer to Haruka in the past few months than he’d ever bargained he would in his lifetime. Something about him was hard to break away from. His entertaining habits, his glares that were impossible to take seriously, his stubborn insistence to do whatever he pleased…

“Cute.”

Sousuke said it aloud. He hadn’t exactly meant to, but it wasn’t a problem when Haruka was unconscious.

“What’s cute?”

Every part of Sousuke’s body tensed. He stared blankly at Haruka, who spoke with his eyes closed. When he didn’t get a response, he opened his eyes and sat up in bed.

“I wasn’t talking about you.” Sousuke lied, immediately backing away from him.

Haruka turned his head away, muttering. “I didn’t ask that.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Sousuke tried to change the subject. “You hungry? There’s soup.”

“I guess I could eat.” He gave up, dropping the topic.

He stood up to examine the soup bowls on the nightstand. Sousuke didn’t move an inch.

“Seafood?” Haruka lifted the lid of the bowl to check the contents.

“You’ll like it,” Sousuke commented, nonchalant. “I already ate some at the dining hall.”

Holding onto his bowl and spoon, Haruka walked back to his bed. He didn’t begin eating right away, instead, he kept looking down at the soup inside of it.

“You don’t want it?”

“Thank you.”

Sousuke’s eyebrows rose to his forehead in surprise. Before he could answer, Haruka continued talking.

“You didn’t have to drag me back to the dorm or bring me food. I don’t know why you did it…but thanks.”

“I didn’t need a reason.” Sousuke returned to his own bed.

“Stop saying that,” Haruka scrunched his nose up at him. “You always say it when you don’t want to explain something.”

Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck and avoided Haruka’s gaze. “I was worried.”

Haruka didn’t seem entirely convinced. He gripped at his spoon, his fingers clenching tightly around the plastic. “By any chance…at the train station, before we left, did Makoto say anything to you about me?”

Sousuke couldn’t handle this line of questioning twice in one day. Even when it had nothing to do with him, he was still compared to Makoto. He shouldn’t have believed he was anything other than a temporary replacement to Haruka, a cookie cutter copy of the needs Makoto satisfied. That way, it wouldn’t have hurt him so much when he wasn’t needed anymore.

Without a word, he got up and stormed out of the room.

Haruka held tightly onto his soup bowl as the door slammed shut. He had no idea what could have made Sousuke so upset. He feared more than anything that Sousuke was only pretending to care about him because Makoto had told him to. His avoidance to answer the question all but confirmed that for him. They had plenty of fights before, however, this time made him feel the worst out of all of them.

He opened the lid and brought the spoon down to fill it with soup. It smelled as good as it tasted, being a seafood medley, just as Sousuke knew he liked. The more he ate, the saltier it tasted. At least the salt distracted him from his thoughts about how much he needed Sousuke to come back and how much he hated being alone when he felt this sick.

Everything he knew seemed like a lie except for one word.

 _Cute_.

He’d been awake from the moment he felt a hand touch his face.


	6. Unspoken

“Who knew Tokyo University had a place by the beach? This is going to be great! Don’t you guys think so too?”

Kisumi was backwards in his seat, smiling cheerfully to the two passengers behind him. Not at all inclined to share his enthusiasm were Sousuke and Haruka, who hadn’t said a word to each other since they got on the bus. They were sitting as far away from one another as possible, with Haruka curled up against the window and Sousuke hanging off the edge of the seat.

“It’s a training camp,” Sousuke stated bluntly. “There’s nothing great about that.”

“Huh?” Kisumi pursed his lips into a pout. “There’s a lot that’s fun about a training camp! You two are really killing the mood.”

Haruka watched the city pass by through the window. “I only came for the ocean.”

“Attendance is required for the swim team.” Sousuke spoke as if he were directing his words at Haruka without any intention of actually speaking to him.

Haruka peered over his shoulder to stare at Sousuke. He kept a hand gripping at the seat in front of him to maintain balance while his bottom half barely touched the seat. It was very annoying to Haruka that Sousuke would sit beside him, then avoid him like this. Even more irritating was that he hadn’t spoken to him in days aside from when it was necessary; “Come to practice” and “give me your laundry” were the only words he said to him since the day he was sick.

As self-sufficient as he was, Haruka came to learn that he really disliked being ignored.

“Did something happen with you guys?” Kisumi looked between them, inquisitively uneasy. “You’re barely sitting together, when just the other day, you were all on top of each other!”

“We weren’t on top of each other!” Sousuke and Haruka asserted at the same time. They gave each other a slight glare when they spoke in sync.

“Whatever…I’m just saying.” Kisumi held his hands up in defense. He then leaned back towards them further to smile at Haruka. “Is this about when you were sick, Haruka? Sousuke was so worried, you should have seen him! He got a bunch of soup and left the orientation events early so that he could check on you. I’m jealous!”

“Stop making things up, Kisumi,” Sousuke muttered. Haruka observed him, noticing his right hand reach up to scratch his neck. He always did that after he lied.

“You’re being difficult again, Sousuke!” Kisumi whined. “I’m only trying to help. I thought it was weird when you two were getting along, but I think it’s even weirder now that you’re fighting.”

“We’re not fighting,” Haruka said.

“We weren’t getting along before,” Sousuke argued, falling back into a proper sitting position when the bus made a sharp turn.

Hearing Sousuke talk like that gave Haruka an uncomfortable feeling at the pit of his stomach. It was almost like he wanted to forget everything that happened after graduation to return to the distant animosity they held for each other before. That was a highly undesired situation for Haruka, and there was no way he was going to let Sousuke test the waters with it.

“Sousuke cares about me too much.” He spoke nonchalantly.

“No, I don’t!” Sousuke remarked, turning to face Haruka.

“He checked my temperature, then he brought me medicine.” Haruka continued speaking to confuse Kisumi and bother Sousuke. Two birds in one stone, he figured. “He took care of the work I missed at orientation and let me sleep in-“

Sousuke reached over, smacking a hand over Haruka’s mouth to shut him up. Haruka squirmed around in a futile attempt to shove him off.

“Sousuke did all of that? I don’t really get it.” Kisumi furrowed his eyebrows as he witnessed them push each other around the seat. “Are you two seriously fighting or are you playing around?”

“Nothing’s changed between us,” Sousuke said firmly while fending off Haruka’s hands. “Not once.”

“He’s annoying.” Haruka made a final attempt to get Sousuke to lose his balance. His pushing didn’t work in the slightest. “Sousuke is a liar.”

“Stop accusing me of things.” Sousuke scowled at him. “So what if I’m a liar?”

“Roommates don’t lie to each other.” Haruka contended.

“You’re wrong.” Sousuke went back to pretending like Haruka wasn’t there. “Don’t act like I’m Makoto.”

Haruka then pulled as far away from him on the seat as possible. He stared at his face closely, trying to determine what it was that Sousuke felt when he brought up the topic that began the conflict, but he was as unreadable as always.

“You’re not Makoto.” Haruka turned away.

“If you know that, then don’t pretend like we’re close.” Sousuke grumbled.

“What’s your problem?” Haruka sounded confrontational.

Kisumi decided to step in before matters got any worse.

“Hey now, let’s calm down,” He waved his arm between them, grinning awkwardly. “Look! We’re already at the training camp building! Doesn’t it look nice?”

His commentary gained no response. Once the bus came to a full stop, Sousuke was the first to get off, but Haruka didn’t move from his spot to follow. Kisumi pushed against the exiting crowd to run up to him.

“That was scary! I’ve never seen Sousuke act so cold to anyone before!”

“It’s not your buisness,” Haruka mumbled. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Kisumi right now.

“You two really are having relationship issues!” Kisumi sat down next him, entirely too far into Haruka’s personal space for his liking. “He got angry at me too when I mentioned Makoto. I wonder what his deal is.”

Haruka frowned. “What did you say to him?”

“Well, I think I said something about them acting the same way around you,” Kisumi tapped his chin as he spoke. “That’s when Sousuke got all defensive, like, ‘don’t compare me to Makoto’ and ‘I’m taking care of Haruka’! I can’t tell if he’s pissed off at you or Makoto anymore! It’s frustrating!”

For probably the only time in his life, Haruka felt just like Kisumi did. It’d really help him fix this mess if he knew what Sousuke and Makoto talked about at the train station. The more Sousuke avoided him, the harder it got to solve the problem.

He stood up from the seat, leaving Kisumi alone to get off the bus. Haruka rummaged through his bag to pull out his cell phone, going through his contacts. Once the light flashed on ‘Makoto’, he pressed the call button.

“Haru?” Makoto’s voice picked up through the speaker. “Is something wrong? You rarely ever call…”

Haruka pressed the phone to his ear. “I need to ask you something important.”

“Ok.” Makoto sounded concerned. “What do you need to ask?”

“Before we left for Tokyo University, you and Sousuke were speaking alone.” Haruka found a quiet corner of the building to make the call. “What did you talk about?”

Makoto’s line went quiet. Haruka tensed up as he sunk down to the ground, waiting for a reply.

“Makoto?”

“Ah, sorry, Haru,” Makoto apologized. “The conversation wasn’t very important. You should tell me about your new swim team! You’re at some kind of training camp now, aren’t you?”

“Don’t change the subject. Please.”

Makoto sighed on the other end. After a minute, he spoke reluctantly. “We talked about you. I didn’t want you to find out…”

“Why?” Haruka responded. “You never hide things from me.”

“I didn’t want you to feel like I didn’t trust you on your own. I didn’t meant to keep a secret from you…I wanted you to stay friendly with Sousuke instead of feeling down about it.”

Haruka gripped at the shirt he was wearing, clutching the fabric at his arm. “You told Sousuke to do everything for me?”

“Haru, that’s not-“

“You told him to be my roommate and follow me around.” Haruka’s voice became less audible. “You got him to buy medicine when I was sick and do my laundry for me…”

“Haru, stop! You’ve got it all wrong!” Makoto broke in. “I didn’t tell him to do that. Is this what you were worried about?”

“I wasn’t worried,” Haruka replied in a low voice.

“You don’t have to lie about it. It’s ok.” Makoto assured him. “I never meant for anything I said with Sousuke to trouble you.”

Haruka watched as the rest of his teammates left for the beach. “Then what did you say to him?”

“I asked him to take care of you.” Makoto admitted. “That was all I wanted him to do. I didn’t tell him specifically to room with you or buy you medicine…none of those things. I haven’t spoken to Sousuke since that day.”

Haruka didn’t respond to that. He listened to the fading sounds of his teammates laughing together while they left the building.

“Haru,” Makoto continued. “You know Sousuke is the kind of person who does what he wants. Even though I asked him to watch over you, he wouldn’t have gone this far if he didn’t really care about you.”

“I can watch over myself.”

“I know. I’m sorry I worry so much.”

Haruka hugged his knees to his chest, his eyes holding a melancholic stare. “Sousuke told me you were talking to him about a girl. He made up a big story.”

Makoto laughed softly. “Maybe it wasn’t all a lie. You should go back and work things out with him, alright? I have a feeling you two got into an argument over this.”

“It was obvious?” Haruka bit his bottom lip.

“You haven’t texted me about Sousuke in a while.” Makoto said. “I could tell something happened.”

Haruka rested his head on his knees where his legs folded up to chin level. “Thanks, Makoto.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Haru. Good luck.”

He could picture what Makoto’s smile looked like as he hung up. After shoving his phone back into his bag, Haruka contemplated joining the others at the beach. He wanted to see the ocean, but the crowd would be noisy and he still had Sousuke to deal with too. Nothing would get better if he didn’t know how Sousuke felt about any of this, and the longer he put off confronting him about it, the worse the issue would get. It was a huge relief to hear that Makoto wasn’t begging him do anything, but Sousuke’s recent lies still left him exasperated. Especially the long, convoluted story about his fake girlfriend.

Why did Sousuke think he would believe any of it? It was all so annoying to him, from the start of the fantasy love story, right until the end where he insisted that the girl was real by making up a complicated personality for her. Makoto confirmed that it was a lie by admitting that they were talking about him.

_Maybe it wasn’t all a lie._

Haruka played with his bangs, pushing back the strands that fell between his eyes. There couldn’t be anything true about that story.

From what he remembered, Sousuke spoke a lot about her being his responsibility. It wasn’t likely that he was lying about being responsible for something, since he heard him talking on the phone about it to someone else. When he described the girl’s personality, it didn’t sound like anyone Haruka knew and the only girl he’d ever seen Sousuke hang out with was Gou. Going on the assumption that Sousuke didn’t have some kind of wild summer romance, the only other person who Sousuke would talk so fondly of is Rin. The problem was that Rin didn’t make any sense if you plugged him into the story either, leaving Haruka with no ideas left. Maybe there wasn’t a point to making sense of a senseless story, after all.

More senseless than his girlfriend issue was remembering what happened between them when he was sick. Haruka might have had a fever that day, but he definitely wasn’t hallucinating when Sousuke stroked his cheek. His hand was cold that day, soothing to the touch on his burning face. He’d opened one of his eyes just enough to see Sousuke’s face in those few minutes. With his fingers lightly placed at his jaw, Sousuke had an expression so soft that Haruka thought he was only imagining it. The way his eyes lit up with warmth, the way his fingertips touched his skin as if afraid to break him, and the way his voice fell to a whisper when he spoke words that he didn’t want to admit. On that afternoon, the Sousuke that he’d witnessed was a Sousuke he’d craved to see more of ever since. The past few days of being avoided had been exceptionally stressful for Haruka because he’d been so confused about what their last interaction had meant. It was unexplainable why he’d been wasting so much time thinking about his roommate.

His roommate, who told Haruka that he thought he was cute when no one else could hear him. He said the same thing about his girlfriend right before they’d gotten on the train. Before they left, he promised Makoto to take care of Haruka. On the train, he told him that he’d promised Makoto to take care of his girlfriend. Haruka brushed the girl off as a lie when Sousuke described her as lonely, stubborn, and clueless, but he never questioned why he kept calling her cute. He called her cute in the same way he’d whispered it to Haruka on that quiet afternoon.

The lie was never the story itself, just the person.

Haruka felt the heat rise to his face and immediately stood up, heavy on his feet. He actually was the idiot Sousuke teased him about being. Every time Sousuke gave him an answer about the girl, he didn’t have the slightest idea that he was talking their own relationship. Haruka’s irritation at hearing Sousuke on the phone about the girl was directed at himself the entire time.

He had to find Sousuke, he had to be sure. He had to let him know that he wasn’t a replacement, and he to scold him for being a jerk all day. He had a lot of bones to pick with Sousuke Yamazaki, none of which could afford to be waited on.

Haruka snatched his bag and ran up the stairs, coming to a skidding stop when he noticed another person on the way down. Sousuke stopped walking at the second he saw Haruka, giving him a blank stare. They both froze, searching for the right words to say first.

“Why are you still here?” Sousuke asked. He failed in giving off his usual indifference because of the evident worry in his voice.

“It’s your fault.” Haruka tightened his grip on his bag, meeting the other’s eyes with intensity.

Sousuke swallowed back any angry retort he was going to make once he locked eyes with Haruka. He took a step away from him, unsure of how to react. “What are you talking about…?”

Haruka took a step towards him when he moved back. “Stop avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding you.” Sousuke stopped himself from taking another backstep. “I’m just giving you what you want.”

“I never asked for you to stop talking to me,” Haruka spoke crisply. “I don’t like this.”

The corners of Sousuke’s lips twitched. He shook his head and walked down past Haruka. “You’ll only dislike it for as long as Makoto isn’t at your side. I don’t like that either.”

Haruka followed behind him to grab his wrist tightly. “Stop it. This isn’t about Makoto.”

Sousuke didn’t move while Haruka kept his wrist captive. He turned around to face him, giving up any hope he had of escaping the conversation.

Haruka continued, “I want you to tell me more about the girl.”

“Huh?” Sousuke furrowed his brows. “Why do you keep asking about her? You want a girlfriend?”

“No. Just tell me about the girl.”

Sousuke frowned in hesitancy. “She’s frustrating, I guess. I’m having a hard time figuring out how to get along with her. Is that enough, Haruka?”

“More.”

“Fine. She eats too much fish and leaves her laundry everywhere. I can’t tell whether she hates me or not. There’s this weird coconut shampoo she buys-“

“It’s supposed to smell like the ocean,” Haruka interrupted.

“Your shampoo definitely smells like coconuts,” Sousuke said. He then inhaled sharply, his eyes going wide. No further attempts were made to correct himself or make up a new lie.

Haruka released his wrist before sitting down on one of the steps. Sousuke reluctantly sat down as well, avoiding looking at him.

“Nothing between us is going to change when Makoto gets here.” Haruka broke the silence. “So you can stop lying to me over that.”

“You know about what I promised him?” Sousuke spoke with the voice of someone who had nothing left to hide.

“Yeah.” Haruka nodded, looking at him despite his refusal to meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t doing it because he told me to,” Sousuke insisted.

“I know,” Haruka replied, slightly tilting his head towards Sousuke. “You’re doing it because you think I’m cute.”

“What?!” Sousuke exclaimed, now giving Haruka his full attention. “I’m not doing anything for a reason like that. Why would you even say that?”

Haruka pulled back in surprise at Sousuke’s flustered reaction. “You said it to yourself the other day when I was sick. Whenever you talk about me as the girl, you call her cute.”

Sousuke’s eyes shifted back and forth, a noticeable pink color forming on his cheeks. “That doesn’t mean it’s why I’m helping you out. I do what I want, and we’re still friends. That’s all the explanation I can give.”

“If you lie to me again, I’ll figure it out.” Haruka warned him as he stood up.

Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck, unsettled. “I can’t get away with anything when it comes to you. Why do you care this much?”

Haruka copied Sousuke’s earlier reasons. “I do what I want, and we’re still friends.”

Sousuke watched him walk past, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He spoke only after Haruka went outside, whispering so quietly that he could barely hear himself.

“Cute."


End file.
